Teatime with Sarah and Mr. Tumnus

Thank God...for God!!

Lately I have been feeling really good. I have been struggling with some reoccurring issues the last few weeks, but a couple of days ago God's voice finally broke through and got my full on attention. Before I left to come back to Tallahassee, I decided to check out the devotionals at the Daily Bread website. The focus was on Romans 8 and these two verses struck me and my situation:
26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.
So many times I find myself wrestling with what I am supposed to pray for. Do I pray for what I truly want or do I need to pray for the strength to live without it? It is so comforting to know that the Holy Spirit goes through the pain with me and knows how to pray for me because He knows what I need. These simple words gave me complete trust in God. In the past my favoirte verse was Jeremiah 29:11, but over time it slowly lost its meaning for me. Sure God knows the plans He has for me, but I felt completely helpless and utterly alone in my pain. Yet in Romans the Holy Spirit struggles and groans more than I do with my requests. He puts my deep longings into words and presents them to the Father. He knows God's will and intercedes for me to Him.
This week is going to be a tough one, but at least I know that I am not alone in tackling all the work.
Also I know I need to be more open to God's will and how it may differ from my own plans. I am terrible at letting things go. Being open and vulnerable (meaning that I just might end up flat on my face) is not really my strong suit. It seems when I want and need to be vulnerable and open the most I shut up and enforce my master fortress of apathy. I have this great complex of believing that I don't deserve what I want most and when God says 'go for it' I somehow end up running in the other direction. So that is just completely frustrating. But it's all good because I know my God is good and I can now say with full confidence I trust in Him and know firsthand that He will deliver me from this like He delivered me from all my other insane wrestling matches.

posted by Sarah @ 12:24 AM