Me being me aka longwinded :)
We live in a distorted state of reality. Appearances are deceptive, yet young boys and girl today are told to rely on that when making relationship decisions. Before reading the lyrics to Hannah Montana’s latest hit “He Could Be the One,” I thought I might find something meaningful (yes I realize I am talking about Hannah Montana) about why she is labeling this guy “the one.” Unfortunately, all of his qualifications were based on how his looks affected her feelings. His smile is all the criteria she needs to consider him the ‘one.’Labeling a guy the ‘one’ is a big deal for me. I have met quite a few guys that have had some amazing smiles and when I was around them I felt giddy, but I would not go so far as to label any of them the ‘one.’ Lately I have put a lot of emphasis on my feelings and that isn’t wise. In my high school small group the leader described relationships in the metaphor of a train. Facts should be at the front and feelings should serve as the caboose. It shows how feelings should weigh in, but they shouldn’t be the leading factor.
When I turn on the television I am confronted by images that tell me to forget facts and go with my biased (and often misleading/destructive) feelings. On Oprah women confess to just waking up and looking over at their husbands and realizing they aren’t in love or what they real mean is they aren’t feeling the exhilarating effects of love anymore. My advice: Get some more shut eye and you might just wake up with a different perspective. From children, thanks to a not a very well known company called Disney (sarcastic. Disney is like the Morgan Freeman of companies. It is everywhere!) we are geared to “follow our hearts.” What does that even mean? If our hearts are grounded in truth, then I completely agree with follow your heart, but if your heart is anything like mine you are facing conflicts on what actual truth looks like compared with what is made to look like truth.
Basically my point is the media and Hollywood’s perception of love, body image, normalcy, etc. is all a myth. Today in mass media I knew that airbrushing is a big thing in the magazine world, but listening to my classmates discuss it was a new experience. One of them is a wedding photographer and he talked about how brides want certain things removed from their pictures like a freckle over her mouth. I can see the benefits of having your teeth whitened, but having her eyes made bigger or having that freckle over her mouth removed is just wrong. As the discussion got more heated, he said what is wrong with wanting to look your best? Yet, it is not really you. When I look back at pictures of myself as a kid, I wish there was photoshop. My mom had an obsession with putting me in pants that competed with Steve Urkel’s high waisted look and I was not comfortable with my height so I hunched. However, in all honesty I love those pictures because they are of me! I don’t care that they are awkward. They tell a story about who I was in that moment. Photoshop definitely has its time and place, but I don’t think it should be used anymore to build up the impossible standard of beauty. Beauty comes in an array of colors, sizes, and shapes.
The same goes for love. Love isn’t about looking like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie together. Being picture perfect doesn’t mean that couples have what it takes to make it. Love is about going beyond your feelings. It doesn’t go away overnight. Love is a choice. It is about commitment. I love God, but I don’t always feel it. Sometimes I feel separated from Him and like He isn’t even hearing me, but then He will do something that blows my mind like responding to a prayer request a few minutes after I prayed for an answer. I could make the choice to wake up tomorrow and look at our relationship and leave; however, I choose to stay in love with God and do my part to keep our relationship alive. Fairy tales end after the wedding. They don’t talk about the work it takes in reality to keep a love relationship strong. The funny thing, well not really funny, is that I am in a relationship with the perfect, the ultimate “One” and I’ll be completely honest that it is really difficult at times not to just call it quits. Sometimes my emotions get the best of me and I forget the facts. The facts are Jesus did something called dying for me and not just me but the entire world; yet, I am sad to say I ask Him everyday to reveal His love for me. I forget about the times when He held me when my friends decided it was convenient to be friends with me. He laughs with me when I hear myself saying something ridiculous ( I like dresses from Primemark, when I find dresses I like). He knows me better than I know myself, yet I find it hard to not compare us to the fairy tale. Maybe it is about time I put away the notions of Disney films, and pick up the ultimate anthology of love, The Bible.
posted by Sarah @ 3:34 AM
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